The majority of us never give any thought to how to deal with an emotional loss, until we find ourselves overwhelmed with the pain of grief. It is at that point that we discover how very few tools we have to deal with that pain, and that most of them do not really work!
Take a moment and think about this.
When you were growing up, how did you learn to deal with these painful emotional feelings? Did someone actually sit you down and tell you how to cope? Chances are that no one ever really even suggested any specific actions that you could take to deal with this inner pain, unless you experienced a particularly traumatic loss as a child, such as the death of a parent.
Most of what we know in how to cope with the losses in our lives started at a very early age with what other people thought were “insignificant” losses, such as a broken toy or a lost balloon. When this happened, it is very likely that you were told such things as this:
Don’t feel bad
We will get you a new one (replace the loss)
You need to be strong
If you stay busy, you won’t feel so bad
And when that didn’t make you feel any better, they may have made additional comments:
Grief just takes time
If you are going to cry like that, then go to your room until you get yourself together
That last comment often translates in our minds that somehow grieving alone is the best way to cope.
Following these suggestions might make it easier for others to be around you, but they never really deal with the emotional pain you are experiencing. More than anything else, these comments encourage you to simply bury that pain deep down inside as you go on with your life.
You are never really aware of how much of this unresolved grief you are carrying around inside affects you until you experience a major loss event that suddenly overwhelms you. It may be the death of someone close to you. It may be the death of a beloved pet. It could be the loss of a job, or it could be the break up of a significant relationship or a divorce. There are over 40 different events that can bring grief to your life. Whatever the cause of your very personal grief, suddenly you find that you are struggling to face another day and that you can no longer keep stuffing that emotional pain and survive.
When you find yourself in this painful emotional situation and finally decide that your friends and family are unable to give you the support that you need, you start to think about the possibility that you need to seek effective support. The question is, where do I turn for help? There are many choices available, but which is the right one to choose?
Up until recently, there was no “scientific proof” that one approach to dealing with the pain of loss was better than another. When friends and family were struggling with losses, they might have found something that seemed to make them feel better, but does that mean that it will work for you?
The Grief Recovery Method has been revealed to be an “evidence based” program which can actually make a difference for those dealing with the emotional pain of loss. Recent studies by Dr. Rachael Nolan from Kent State University were recently published in two articles in the American Journal of Health Education. These studies indicate that the eight-meeting directed approach followed in Grief Recovery Method Support Groups is an effective program for grievers, no matter their loss. This is the first known university study to look at any of the various support groups available to grievers. Now, instead of you needing to search for something that might help you move beyond the overwhelming feelings of grief that you are experiencing, there is actual research that shows that there is a program that can truly help you.
The fact this program alone has been shown to be evidence-based means that you do not need to be fearful that it can make a difference for you!
A Grief Recovery Support Group is a guided journey that helps you deal with all of the “unfinished business” of that relationship that is adding to your grief. It helps you effectively address those things you wished might have been different, better, or more, as well as any feelings you might have about facing a different future that you might have planned prior to that loss event. The steps you take in this program will allow you to once again enjoy any and all the fond memories that this relationship brought to your life, without continuing to grieve your loss. It even works in less than happy relationships by giving you the needed direction to take action. Consequently, the emotional pain of the relationship no longer is a burden that you must carry with you into the future.
To find out more information about The Grief Recovery Method schedule a Free 15 minute consultation by clicking here or if you would like to read more information about our Grief Recovery programs click here.