Boundary Issues

Do you struggle with creating and maintaining healthy boundaries?

creating healthy boundaries - Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ
  • Do you feel out of balance or find that you are overly hard on yourself?
  • Do you suffer from a negative internal dialogue that you feel you have no control over?
  • Perhaps you are holding on to pain and anger that you are unable to release, although you want to be free from the burden.
  • Are you are obsessed with the past, constantly thinking to yourself, “What if...”?
  • Do you find yourself caught up in fantasy or thoughts that steal your ability to be present with those in your life?
  • Is it diffiuclt for you to meaningfully connect with friends, colleagues, romantic partners or other people in your life?
  • Perhaps you find yourself in toxic relationships, even though you’ve vowed to be more careful about the people you allow into your life?
  • Maybe you feel anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed?
  • Are you feeling stuck in life?

Discovery and Wellness Counseling can help.

Setting healthy boundaries - Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ

Many people struggle to find balance & Joy in their lives.

Without setting healthy boundaries, it is common to experience painful and ineffective relationships again and again. These patterns are hard to break or even understand. Often times, reoccurring negative thoughts, low self-esteem and unhealthy relationships are a result of unhealthy personal boundaries.

Healthy boundaries come in both internal and external forms. There is an external boundary that we create to help us navigate both our platonic and romantic relationships. There is also an internal boundary that informs and affects our thoughts and feelings about ourselves and other people.

Developing and setting appropriate boundaries in all areas of life is important. Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries will help you to learn and understand who you are and strengthen your ability to decipher healthy and unhealthy relationships. The ability to find relief, peace, and joy for yourself through building or rebuilding your boundary system is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself. Owning a healthy boundary often times creates an increased sense of self, increased self esteem, in addition to an increased awareness of your needs, wants, and values. Setting healthy boundaries will  help you find more authentic relationships and strengthen those you currently have and help eliminate those that are hindering you. 

With an openness to explore thoughts, feelings and patterns that are not serving you, Discovery and Wellness Counseling can help you better understand the patterns that hinder you, negative thoughts that consume you and change the way you interact with the world. With the right support, you can foster a healthier relationship with yourself and those around you bringing joy, peace, and connection. 

Healthy Boundaries offer safety, connection & honesty.

setting healthy boundaries - Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ

At Discovery & Wellness Counseling, we can help you explore the boundaries you have created over time. We can help you to identify why you do what you do and help you to understand the reasoning behind it. Exploring and understanding boundaries incorporates looking at the boundary system you grew up in, as well as the one you currently hold for yourself.  Depending on the boundary system you have been using, it may be necessary to re-learn a healthier boundary system in order to make the change you desire. As an Attachment theory based therapist, it is my belief that childhood services as a building block for who we become and how we live our lives.

For example, growing up in home that consisted of a parenting structure that was emotionally, physically, or sexually unstable, your parents may have used drugs, alcohol, or engaged in extramarital affairs, had trouble setting structure, following routines and or monitoring you as a child. Thus, you have learned you initial boundary system from you family of origin. If drugs, alcohol, fighting, distrust, infidelity (just to name a few) were present in your growing up experience, you may not have the boundary system in place that offers you confidence, safety, and healthy coping strategies to life the life you desire Thus, you may find yourself getting  into unhealthily relationships, your negative self talk may hinder you, or drugs, alcohol, sexual fantasy, and rage may be hurting you and your relationships. 

Developing healthy boundaries is about building up necessary walls and breaking some down. It is important to have walls, as they serve as protection. In addition, it is necessary to display openness and vulnerability to increase emotional intimacy with yourself and the people around you. At Discovery & Wellness Counseling, we help to identify the patterns that create negative self defeating behaviors, painful feelings and learn how to construct healthier boundaries that can help you to develop an increased sense of self, increased your self esteem and help you to interact more effectively in your relationships. 

I don’t want to blame my parents. I am responsible for my own actions.

At Discovery and Wellness, we believe that parents do the very best they know how to do, with what they have. Growing your understanding of unhealthy habits, rituals and family messages from your childhood helps lay the foundation in answering the “how “ and the “why”. As adults, we are responsible for our own actions and for making positive change for ourselves.  Establishing an understanding of what your current boundary system is allows you to make the changes necessary for a healthier self-esteem, interpersonal awareness, and more authentic relationships. We believe learning to set health boundaries leads to living in action; a healthier alternative to reacting to other people in your life.